We’ve all done it — skipped the workout, sent the risky text, procrastinated on the deadline. Even when we know better, we sometimes choose worse. This isn’t just a personal failing; it’s a deeply human pattern. Self-sabotage is the act of undermining our own goals, success, or well-being, often in ways that feel irrational. But recent neuroscience reveals that these behaviors are not random — they’re rooted in how our brains process punishment, reward, and learning. A groundbreaking study from UNSW Sydney found that people fall into three distinct behavioral types when faced with consequences: Sensitives, Unawares, and Compulsives. Sensitives quickly learn from negative outcomes and adjust their behavior. Unawares need guidance but can change once shown the error. Compulsives, however, continue making harmful choices even after being explicitly told what’s causing the problem. This group doesn’t lack motivation — they simply fail to connect their actions with their consequences.

Why does this happen? The answer lies in cognitive flexibility — our brain’s ability to update strategies based on new information. For compulsive self-sabotagers, this flexibility is impaired. They may be paying attention and trying to improve, but their internal feedback loop is broken. They can’t integrate new knowledge into their decision-making process, which leads to repeated mistakes. This isn’t just about willpower, it’s about how the brain learns and adapts. Self-sabotage also thrives in environments of chronic stress, low self-worth, and emotional overload. When we’re overwhelmed, the brain defaults to familiar patterns, even if those patterns are destructive. That’s why people often sabotage relationships, careers, or health goals during periods of instability. The behavior feels automatic, but it’s driven by deeper emotional circuitry that resists change. Importantly, punishment alone doesn’t fix self-sabotage. The UNSW study showed that even when participants were told exactly which actions led to negative outcomes, some still couldn’t change their behavior. This suggests that interventions must go beyond consequences — they must help people build awareness, emotional regulation, and cognitive flexibility. Therapy, coaching, and structured reflection can help rewire these patterns over time.

Ultimately, self-sabotage is not a moral failure, it’s a neurological and psychological challenge. Understanding the science behind it allows us to approach it with compassion and strategy. By recognizing our patterns, building better feedback loops, and creating environments that support change, we can turn our worst decisions into opportunities for growth. The first step is not judgment, it’s awareness.

enoma ojo (2024)